How do you relax?

Real talk: I’ve been working at a break-neck pace since last March, especially the last several months. I get so passionate about making things to help others (and to fulfill my tremendous need to be productive) that I leave no time for other essential things like taking care of myself. Creating is fun and invigorating and, for me especially, important to my emotional and mental well-being, but it’s not everything. Lately, my anxiety has been at an all-time high, and I go through frequent bouts of severe depression. I’m either exhausted or restless, and it’s impossible to quiet my mind at night to get some rest. My mind seems to think I can avoid all these negative feelings if I just-keep-working, but I think you already know that never actually helps. On top of that, it’s been difficult to express everything that I’m going through — the stress, the guilt, and self-doubt — which feels very isolating. Or I fear that if I do, I’m not the upbeat, motivational, bright, colorful personality that I want to be. SIGH.

Well, in an effort to relive some of the stress and pressure to be making new things constantly, this month, I pulled MAE prompts and writing from my archives. This week, I was going to send you something I wrote two years ago that started out, “How do you relax?”

When I wrote it then, the emphasis was on the word ‘you’: “How do YOU relax?”

I reread it today, and it sounds more like “How do you RELAAAAX?” As if it’s some impossible objective. But my goodness, do I need to relax. (P.S If you want to read the original writing, go here. It feels like I could have written it today.)

Anyway … Hi. I’m a real human here, with real human feelings and struggles. I remind myself how healing it is to share these feelings, and I strongly desire to hold space for struggling people like me. I am aware of how healing it is to express these feelings, and how it helps us feel connected to one another. So if you, too, are in a season of life much like the one I’m going through, please know that you are not alone.

And if you have a few words of encouragement to send my way, it would mean the world to me. Thank you for being a member of this amazing art-making community.